Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think my mom watched the whole time
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize