Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize