don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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