I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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