Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
True strength comes from lack of pants
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
