the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have demons in me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
