I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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