Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
