Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
