Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
