you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
