Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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