We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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