wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
