I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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