She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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