I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
