her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize