Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
