Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
as a side note pls kill me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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