We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize