I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
