I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
