Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
