I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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