I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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