Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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