i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
