the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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