did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize