Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
