He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate