I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️