Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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  (323): my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing http://tfl.nu/8j5t
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (889)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra

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  (240): Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra http://tfl.nu/fzzx
  Replies (5) Good night (3826) Bad night (743)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

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  (586): it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special http://tfl.nu/7k86
  Replies (79) Good night (1209) Bad night (5822)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married

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  (773): She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win. (1-773): Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married http://tfl.nu/w32w
  Replies (19) Good night (1189) Bad night (7558)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.

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  (860): She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it. http://tfl.nu/dkuo
  Replies (14) Good night (3690) Bad night (1341)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.

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  (940): You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse. http://tfl.nu/kwi6
  Replies (10) Good night (2885) Bad night (909)
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  (607): View more from New York

  his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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  (607): his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop. http://tfl.nu/p3uz
  Replies (10) Good night (3672) Bad night (823)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.

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  (636): I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together. http://tfl.nu/hsqn
  Replies (3) Good night (1855) Bad night (1330)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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  (252): He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it. http://tfl.nu/4vqb
  Replies (9) Good night (1825) Bad night (619)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation

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  (520): Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation http://tfl.nu/bc5i
  Replies (1) Good night (1150) Bad night (553)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?

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  (802): He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been? http://tfl.nu/bs5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1412) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..

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  (573): Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you.. http://tfl.nu/j404
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka

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  (479): Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka http://tfl.nu/t2p9
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie

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  (308): got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie http://tfl.nu/pesa
  Replies (3) Good night (1384) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive

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  (602): If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive http://tfl.nu/rx6d
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (296)

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