the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.