I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.