she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
