I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
