Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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