epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
