I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think my mom watched the whole time
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
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you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
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iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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