i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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