On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
