Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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