Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
