The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The beer is more important than you right now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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