I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize