yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
