I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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