As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
