This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize