I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
