Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
