brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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