This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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