And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
