just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
