ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
