she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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