I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I need water and some morals
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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