i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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