You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
