You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
