sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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