Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
