someone threw a dead crab at me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
