Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
