One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
