Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
