It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
