I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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